After finishing my Matura exams, I suffered burnout. My body collapsed just at the moment of walking out of the school. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic attacks. In the next weeks, I became dependent on my family; I could not sleep nor eat. There was nothing I was looking forward to. The only moment in the day I was waiting for was the time I could take a pill, which brought me some relief. I could not imagine myself being healthy again. I saw myself being dependent on someone else’s care till the end. A dark and hopeless state of mind.
After some weeks, I met with my friends, but I was not able to enjoy the meeting. One of them took me out to have a walk. She told me her story: she also suffered from panic attacks and anxiety some time ago. She went through the treatment and was now living a pretty normal life. In that moment, listening to her, one could say nothing changed – I was still weak, anxious, dependent. But there was a huge change. Suddenly, I could see a way out – there was HOPE! Looking at her – living and enjoying her life – I began to believe this darkness was not the final station. Healing became something thinkable, possible, something real, even though I didn’t yet know how.
My healing took a longer time afterward, but it started there, with my friend showing me her wounds in the light of healing, reconciliation, peace. Till now, this memory is shining in me and became a core experience of hope. It has helped me many times since, in other different situations. When things get dark and I do not see a light, I know there is hope, and a new life is possible.
